Monday, December 5, 2011

Too Long Between Posts

My goodness but it's been too long between posts.  I let life become too busy.  My brain becomes fuzzy and I forget things.  Important things like a good friend's birthday, dates I volunteered for and event at church.

I have gained weight.  It's a bummer but it is also my fault.  No one else's.  No series of events made me choose to eat what I did or choose not to be high raw.  It still amazes me how fast I can put weight on but what a struggle it is to take off.  Even when I'm 100% raw for several weeks straight I can put on weight.  That is discouraging.

Lately my body has felt run down and I know exactly why.  I haven't been drinking water because I'm cold and don't think about dehydration during winter months.  During cold months I drink a lot of hot coffee and sometimes herb tea.  Heavy foods seem to call to me during the cold winter months.  I wonder if that is a natural instinctive hibernation mode we go into.  Whatever it is I'm fully insulated but don't want to be.

Something else I have been struggling with is body image.  The number on the scale doesn't totally upset me but my lumpy sack of potatoes body does.  I saw a picture of a young lady who is overweight by about 50 lbs.  She is very comfortable in her skin.  But I was looking at her sporting a cute bikini bathing suit and actually felt jealousy.  She had a lovely, softly curved body, an hourglass shape that I will never have and I was jealous of her body.  We both have the same amount of extra weight on our frames but she was so proportionate and beautifully shaped.

And let's talk exercise.  So many people talk about how much they enjoy exercising but I can't like it.  It's a chore to me.  I wish I liked exercise.  I have a few great DVDs but I'm not motivated.  I totally understand that I am not going to get the body I want by sitting at the computer and I hardly count housework.   I just need to do it.  Any amount is better than nothing, though.  The body I want isn't going to happen by itself.  There isn't a magic pill, no magic machine that is going to tone my body.  It's a mindset.  Am I tired of my sack-of-potatoes body or am I not?  If so, get off your butt Molly and do something to change it!  Only I can change my thinking.

Okay, that's enough.  I need to not stress and dwell on things, events, and people I cannot control.  I can only control myself and that is more than enough!

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